Abby’s Diary: Purpose Vs. Passion

In my book the Sno-Cone Diaries on page 25 I use this quote:

“When you have lost sight of your path, listen for the destination in your heart.”-Katsura Hoshina

Since this is my diary I am going to be painfully honest with myself, I have hit a crossroads in my journey and I need some help. Since returning from Italy, I have been feeling a bit melancholy and a bit empty inside, that my “15 minutes of fame” has passed and the subsequent high of publishing my first book, being on the radio and TV, being in all the local newspapers, giving my first and second motivational talk, and doing book signings, has all passed so quickly, and not spread beyond my own neighborhood and friends. And while the immediate high was awesome, sadly I failed to achieve my ultimate goal which was to touch the lives of tens of thousands of women by having more of them read the story, and inspire them to give themselves permission to make the changes they needed to achieve great joy and satisfaction in their lives.

I know for a fact that I touched some lives just based on the letters, e mails, and conversations I have had with people. Some were inspired to lose weight, others to jump out of bed with a new attitude, and still others to spend more time with their children guilt free and a little less time on work making their children inquire “why are you so happy mom?” To me that feedback touched me so deeply and inspired me to want to do more. But then it all suddenly stopped. I guess I ran out of people I knew that would support me, and the story ended there. Or did I stop?

A young man I know that does my PR work and that I desperately want to adopt so that my son Justin has a big brother, is wise beyond his years. Seeing me a little bummed out this past week or so, has shared a few words of wisdom that have made me look deeply into my heart. First he reminded me that my “book launch” was only 5 months old and asked me pointedly “would I really be ready so soon to abandon my 5 month old baby?” Then he gave me this week’s blog assignment to go back and re-read my own book, as if I hadn’t already read it hundreds of times, and remind myself of what made me write it in the first place. From that exercise I was to clearly distinguish between my purpose and my passions.

I immediately went to the dictionary to define the words and identify the distinct differences between the two.

Purpose: Noun The reason for which something exists or is done, made, or used. An intended or desired result, end aim or goal. Why you are alive today!

Passion: Noun Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling. It’s a strong feeling about a person or a thing. They are the hobbies, talents, interests, that are tools and vehicles that help us carry out our purpose.

To quote Mark Twain: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out the reason why.”

My passions are writing, cooking, and winning at any challenge put forth. So I have used my passion of writing the book and documenting my strategy on overcoming obstacles and winning, my posts, and diary blogs to attempt to pursue my passion. The problem with focusing on my passion more than my purpose lately is that when I look at it honestly, it seems self-serving, egotistical, selfish, and if I may add, a bit addictive. Putting that photo, blog, quote, and sitting and staring at my phone all day to see how many people like what I said or did seems to be all about me, me, me.

When I think about what I believe my purpose in life is: which is to demonstrate the courage and leadership to, inspire, and motivate others to live their lives in joy and happiness, with confidence in knowing they are born with the capacity to do great things by being thankful for every day, every blessing received, every lesson learned, and using the knowledge from every experience to learn how to be the absolute best person they can be. Those are the things worth accomplishing, and none of them are about me. If I take it one step further and ask myself what’s the one thing I would do with my life if nothing could stop me I’d reply “I’d take everyone’s pain away even if only for a moment and let them feel great joy, relief, and happiness.

Notice the difference? None of my purpose is about me being on TV. I am not happy right now because I have strayed from my purpose, serving other people in their daily lives.

“And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said “you are more blessed to give than to receive.”

- Acts 20:35

So…… what does all this mean moving forward? It means I go back to page 76 in the book and start practicing again what I preach as the 25 Characteristics of Divas all over again including #24 which is to be humble and ask for help.

I am putting it out to all of you and asking if my story had a positive impact on you in some way? If so what was it? If you were me how do I get my message out in front of more women at this point? How can I help or encourage you toward your wildest dream of what happiness looks like for you?

“ONE LIFE. JUST ONE. Why aren’t we running like we are on fire towards our wildest dreams?”

-Author Unknown